Pirate Princess

Scours the map

prepared to search

heart set on a treasure

in a dead man's chest.

Not storm nor curse will slow the search

nothing can dampen the feeling.

Land! But no, not here

the hunt goes on.

The crew's spirits wane

they lack her tireless desire

for that dead man's chest.

Land! X marks the spot.

She lays her head to rest

on the dead man's chest.

Waimarama Night

We were grains of sand,

dancers waltzing to rock music.

The air's salty taste felt like summer

when one year became the next

at Waimarama.

We were not delicate.

The police came too that night,

getting in on the party,

taking one off to a flowery dell.

We felt like things would never be the same,
sculpting ourselves on

the shaky foundations of dreams.

The playground taught us about all kinds of pain

and we rewound the clock
just to see if things would happen the same way

given a chance to start again.

I knew things could have been better
but the night was perfectly imperfect

and the story will be told a few times

some years down the line.

We eventually slept, fallacious sleep.

We woke to make resolutions,

healthy eating and no more booze

then cracked open a beer and ate

stacks of pancakes for breakfast-

The morning sun warned us

and the beach flaunted its beauty.

Terms and Conditions

Offer exclusive.

Offer valid anytime

for as long as both parties comply.

Contractor not obliged to always be there

(but will be).

No implications of consent to intimacy

of a sexual nature included:

such consent may or may not be granted

as and when the need/your cock arises.

Movie choices to be mutual:

contractor reserves the right to final say.

Contractor reserves the right to anger

if you disrupt her sleep.

Breakfast in bed available on request:

in the event of rain we can stay in bed all day

and have lunch and dinner there too.

I love you. Goodbye.

Two weeks later there was Ben.

I didn't go the distance so after another two weeks

there was Oscar.

Six months later I thought I was doing ok,

but x amount of vodka later

I was doing ok in my workmate's bed.

Several ungratifying hook ups later

I fell for a man from Yorkshire,

briefly.

Last week someone asked me if I could keep a secret,

so we pinky promised

and he kissed me.

Stoya on How to Perform a Meathook

I hold my body in various contortions

on a spinning hoop

suspended from the ceiling.

I'm digging up basic knowledge of things like gravity

and momentum

in the attempt to provide an answer

other than, “I just do it. It just works.”

Even something as simple as walking

is said to involve two hundred muscles.

We aren't generally conscious of the process

of taking a step.

An audience that has athletes

or former dancers in it

can more easily tell what is actually a difficult manoeuver,

and they all notice

if you neglect to point a toe.

Their applause is the sound of people who have judged 

with a critical eye and found you acceptable,

not the sound of blind, unconditional love

from an audience that is purely there to be entertained.

They want to know how male performers keep their erections

and ejaculate on cue.

I want to know why people ask me this question

as I quite obviously do not have a penis.

They want to know the secret to enjoying having a dick in their butt.

I once again have no answers.

Either your body enjoys being anally penetrated

or it doesn't.

If your butthole likes having things in it,

go forth and enjoy.

If it doesn't,

then you should probably listen to your body

and leave your anus

to its main purpose of excreting waste.

If you're trying to placate

a boyfriend who won't stop nagging you

about fucking you

in the ass,

then he himself is an asshole, and I'd suggest

he go fuck himself.

While there definitely is value

in studying the science

behind the physical abilities of performers and athletes,

there's a certain beautiful magic

in the idea

that something about all those lights and eyeballs

pushes us

to just make it work.

(Source http://www.vice.com/en_ca/read/stoya-on-the-will-to-perform)

Write the Wrong

Are you aware of the injustice,
blindly following industry lies and your stomach to
carcus eating,
dirty dairy drinking
every meal. But animals should be
friends not food.
Given animal rights,
Human wrongs,
I would empty every cage if I could-
Jails for the innocent,
killed for want not need.
Life is as important to cows and bees as to
me, to you, and animals are
not commodities.
Only the selfish could believe
pigs and sheep are here to serve human greed.
Quite confrontational it may be, but I see no
reason to let murder continue to
satisfy your stomachs.

From a selection of female celebrities-

We never were suitable idols for Lara,

Or anyone else.

I said we are born this way,

And fur and burqas are fashion statements.

I promote NOH8,

But my lyrics are slut-shaming.

I could be plain Lizzy Grant,

But add Hispanic stage name and I'm more “Lolita lost in the hood.”

I'm just a white girl,

Love Appropriation Music Baby.

I'm another Disney teen sensation,

Wearing a bindi, using racial slurs.

I proudly support Because I Am a Girl,

I'm a Feminist, You're Still a Whore.

We're all women in the public eye,

It's not an easy thing to be.

We have all made mistakes,

Sorry you had to see.