Tequila

A verbal volume battle,
raging war of words which no one cares about
gets too much.
You take tequila to the trees
an attempt to clear
retreat works at first
but she is inclined to deceive
so will soon try tempting you into a bad decision.
You fight with tequila. She is wrong.
We can make happy endings.

My Turn

I believe not in a higher being
but in life and in living.
I believe in passion, compassion,
I believe in language and culture
I believe in imagination
and making things your own.
I believe in the path of least harm
and I believe in so much more:
what is belief to you?

Cryptic II

Disturbs awful pest in America;
clumsy centipede, essentially confused
upsets open vessels,
caught in denial, unexpectedly.
Macerate new scones and jam
left on plate? You, say! Tidy up!
Nasty rows about gold bring misery,
interim alterations to railway stations
racing track circuits partly collapsed
amusing or ridiculous, stupid person.
Add a very quiet finale-
bank gives heartless response.

*second in a series of found poems from cryptic crosswords

Cryptic

They have their ups and downs at playtime.

She composes a reflective article,

business initiative,

emblem of the brave

released – or shot.

Prison tour rearranged,

dreadful Australian orgy,

one lacking a blooming partner?

Weeping girl takes nothing up,

complication that naturally goes against the grain.

*Found poem from cryptic crossword clues.

Tea and Poetry

Clinging to student

life in my pajamas

to blankets

and movies

ignoring deadlines

hiding from my flatmates

and the rain.

English breakfast

toast and more toast

and wine

and dirty dishes

due today

vodka writes

good essays

and good nights.

A Kind of Sickness

My eyes are weeping

my throat is raw

don't have time for this right now-

then, there never is a convenient time

for such misery

for recovery

or for tears

so you stay strong

keep on

keeping on-

what I'm really saying is

I am truly thrilled

to have conjunctivitis.

Game On

Miss Scarlet

in the dining room

with the lead pipe.

The media

in our minds

with lies.

Sit down.

Simon says jump.

Jump.

Society says sit down.

Do this, do that.

They mould you like play-dough,

but this is no child's game.

You pay out

more often than you pass go.

There are as many snakes

as ladders.

Life's fantastic

being plastic

if you want to be a Barbie girl

but there is something questionable

about the puppetry in this show.

Pirate Princess

Scours the map

prepared to search

heart set on a treasure

in a dead man's chest.

Not storm nor curse will slow the search

nothing can dampen the feeling.

Land! But no, not here

the hunt goes on.

The crew's spirits wane

they lack her tireless desire

for that dead man's chest.

Land! X marks the spot.

She lays her head to rest

on the dead man's chest.

Waimarama Night

We were grains of sand,

dancers waltzing to rock music.

The air's salty taste felt like summer

when one year became the next

at Waimarama.

We were not delicate.

The police came too that night,

getting in on the party,

taking one off to a flowery dell.

We felt like things would never be the same,
sculpting ourselves on

the shaky foundations of dreams.

The playground taught us about all kinds of pain

and we rewound the clock
just to see if things would happen the same way

given a chance to start again.

I knew things could have been better
but the night was perfectly imperfect

and the story will be told a few times

some years down the line.

We eventually slept, fallacious sleep.

We woke to make resolutions,

healthy eating and no more booze

then cracked open a beer and ate

stacks of pancakes for breakfast-

The morning sun warned us

and the beach flaunted its beauty.

Terms and Conditions

Offer exclusive.

Offer valid anytime

for as long as both parties comply.

Contractor not obliged to always be there

(but will be).

No implications of consent to intimacy

of a sexual nature included:

such consent may or may not be granted

as and when the need/your cock arises.

Movie choices to be mutual:

contractor reserves the right to final say.

Contractor reserves the right to anger

if you disrupt her sleep.

Breakfast in bed available on request:

in the event of rain we can stay in bed all day

and have lunch and dinner there too.

I love you. Goodbye.

Two weeks later there was Ben.

I didn't go the distance so after another two weeks

there was Oscar.

Six months later I thought I was doing ok,

but x amount of vodka later

I was doing ok in my workmate's bed.

Several ungratifying hook ups later

I fell for a man from Yorkshire,

briefly.

Last week someone asked me if I could keep a secret,

so we pinky promised

and he kissed me.

Stoya on How to Perform a Meathook

I hold my body in various contortions

on a spinning hoop

suspended from the ceiling.

I'm digging up basic knowledge of things like gravity

and momentum

in the attempt to provide an answer

other than, “I just do it. It just works.”

Even something as simple as walking

is said to involve two hundred muscles.

We aren't generally conscious of the process

of taking a step.

An audience that has athletes

or former dancers in it

can more easily tell what is actually a difficult manoeuver,

and they all notice

if you neglect to point a toe.

Their applause is the sound of people who have judged 

with a critical eye and found you acceptable,

not the sound of blind, unconditional love

from an audience that is purely there to be entertained.

They want to know how male performers keep their erections

and ejaculate on cue.

I want to know why people ask me this question

as I quite obviously do not have a penis.

They want to know the secret to enjoying having a dick in their butt.

I once again have no answers.

Either your body enjoys being anally penetrated

or it doesn't.

If your butthole likes having things in it,

go forth and enjoy.

If it doesn't,

then you should probably listen to your body

and leave your anus

to its main purpose of excreting waste.

If you're trying to placate

a boyfriend who won't stop nagging you

about fucking you

in the ass,

then he himself is an asshole, and I'd suggest

he go fuck himself.

While there definitely is value

in studying the science

behind the physical abilities of performers and athletes,

there's a certain beautiful magic

in the idea

that something about all those lights and eyeballs

pushes us

to just make it work.

(Source http://www.vice.com/en_ca/read/stoya-on-the-will-to-perform)

Write the Wrong

Are you aware of the injustice,
blindly following industry lies and your stomach to
carcus eating,
dirty dairy drinking
every meal. But animals should be
friends not food.
Given animal rights,
Human wrongs,
I would empty every cage if I could-
Jails for the innocent,
killed for want not need.
Life is as important to cows and bees as to
me, to you, and animals are
not commodities.
Only the selfish could believe
pigs and sheep are here to serve human greed.
Quite confrontational it may be, but I see no
reason to let murder continue to
satisfy your stomachs.

From a selection of female celebrities-

We never were suitable idols for Lara,

Or anyone else.

I said we are born this way,

And fur and burqas are fashion statements.

I promote NOH8,

But my lyrics are slut-shaming.

I could be plain Lizzy Grant,

But add Hispanic stage name and I'm more “Lolita lost in the hood.”

I'm just a white girl,

Love Appropriation Music Baby.

I'm another Disney teen sensation,

Wearing a bindi, using racial slurs.

I proudly support Because I Am a Girl,

I'm a Feminist, You're Still a Whore.

We're all women in the public eye,

It's not an easy thing to be.

We have all made mistakes,

Sorry you had to see.

My Feminine Side

We had the best nights
when I sculled back the booze
faster than you
and we went on hungover kebab trips.
You laughed when your friend apologised
in case I didn't like the music
because you know rock's my thing
and you all sang along to Miley Cyrus too.
So I felt like one of the boys
but you had all hit on me at some point
and I know you watched me when I danced.

Honesty

The things you couldn't be honest with me about,
Could have been pathetic,
But I don't think you were even honest with yourself.

The Student's Anthem

I should be studying
but I watched a movie
and I baked a cake.
I should be studying
but I'm online shopping
and updating my facebook page.
I should be studying
but I'm performing bedroom karaoke
and watching videos of cats.
I should be studying,
but I wrote this poem instead
and I'm drinking whatever I could find in my fridge.

As The Floor Disappears

Creating an obstacle course,
shoe mines and a dirty dish maze.
Try to find solid ground,
somewhere to place my feet
and somehow leave nothing broken.
A sea of discarded ideas,
wading through a lack of time
I see my stress surround me
as the floor disappears.

Mess

My room's a mess, like I'm a mess
but you my darling
are still welcome in my bed
because the fragile parts of me
could do with someone like you
to hold them together.

Some Nights

You've come to accept
with good there's also bad.
Though there are kisses one night
some nights hold no comfort
but through these times remember;
there are kisses still to come.
There is no morality in mating
but there might be love.

An Apology for Being Pretty

Life was simpler when boys had cooties

now they all have an opinion on my face

and hips, boobs, bum, legs, waist.

Doesn't matter what the media's got to say,

I get called beautiful everyday

but nothing's as easy as that.

So if I'm a bit pretty, or more,

I'm sorry

I don't always think that way.

Effects of The Passing of Time

How we got on so well,
we had such good fun
and now you don't exist to me.
How I loved you always,
I looked up to you in childhood
then it was too late to say,
you passed away.
The precious nights we had,
and I actually liked you so much,
now you've got a girlfriend.
The nights we passed in laughter,
our unspoken love,
drunk nights connect us now.
We were best friends
but it all changed,
now you're a tear in my eye.
All these things I had,
slipped away from me,
you became things that make me sad.

Waging War

You threw your punch
but I have a solid defense.

Open my eyes
I see myself clearer.
Open my ears
I hear things much realer.

Surrounded by genuine people
I'm fast myself again
but seems like you're hiding,
your confidence all feigned.

You incited battle
and I swear I'll win the war.

Things You Said

I needed some advice
and looks like I'm taking yours.
I'll stop thinking that I'm pretty
and forget that I'm ok,
you got what you wanted,
you broke me down today
and I will cry myself to sleep
but tomorrow's another day.

Back To School

Ten years ago I might have cried,
or else I'd have kicked you
when you pulled my hair.
Now we're meant to be adults
so how should I react
when you act like this is primary school
and obviously you've got a lot to learn.

9-5.

I do things,
you ask why.

Because I want to,
because it's fun,
why need I justify.

Society is mad to me,
fuck your expectations
screw your 9 til 5s.

I'm doing more with my life.

I Had You

Always been blessed,
had that gift,
people rarely tell me no.
But if there was one night
I truly got what I wanted,
oh man it was you.
The wine told me "him"
and we listened all night long.

Creativity

I had so many lines in my head
but I was so exhausted
sleep stole them away from me,
wove them into my my dreams.
I awoke and they were forgotten,
great words lost again
because with great creativity
there is seldom great solidity.

Like Many Women Before Me

I've let people in
when I'm vulnerable
that only make me weak
because I lean on them,
forget my own two feet
and these people aren't good for me.

Not anymore.
Now I'm keeping my strength.
I am the cure for my insecurity.
I am empowered.
I am woman.

Never Will Last

I'm having some issues,
Which started long before you,
By your time my first thought,
Is "too good to be true."

They come and they go,
In the blink of an eye,
Never staying in my world,
So long as in my mind.

I told you from the start,
From the word go,
It was just a quick sprint,
Another jump in the show.

Alone

You can only distract yourself for so long,
Always on the move,
To shut out the darkness and hold back the tears,
But the night will soon catch up with you.
It closes in and breaks you down,
And you are nothing but alone.

Dreams?

Found myself

                       in this world
so prone to

                       change
colours fast

                       fade to grey.

I wilt when the

                         sun goes
suddenly

                         feel alone
like I'm in a

                                      bubble.

The sun and the moon

                                    have different ways
but I have no separation

                                    of dreams
and reality.